John Gottman, the most important researcher into how couples function and fail working today, offers three great, research-based insights into what helps or hurts relationships.
We have a choice to turn away or connect with our partner dozens of times a day and that is more important for the health of a relationship than betrayal itself. What turning towards a partner looks like: ATTUNE, an acronym for Awareness of feelings, Turning towards the feeling, Tolerance of two different viewpoints, seeking Understanding of one's partner, responding Non-defensively, Empathy. How CLalt (Comparison Level Alternative or "I can do better") when you are frustrated with a partner can lead to relationship destroying cascades. Great!