"You can't do affect with a still face"

A client recently pointed me in the direction of Diana Fosha and her work on trauma recovery. She comes from a psychoanalytic perspective which is very different than my own training and orientation, and I didn’t know anything about her so I went online and did a little digging. I read a little of her work and I saw that she has her own method called Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP).

I really like to hear a therapist talk about their work. It is hard for me to take seriously the insights of a therapist who seems like a jerk, to whom I wouldn’t send a friend or loved one. Hearing the person talk gives me a sense of what it would be like to sit in a room with them as a client. I found this example.

She was warm and personable and very smart and it seemed clear that she spent a lot of time with actual clients and was not solely involved with research. I left the video on while I tidied up in the kitchen. At 7 and a half minutes she said something that made me put down the dishcloth, go over to my computer, and scan back and really listen. And then listen again. She was talking about therapist neutrality and she said: “You can’t do affect with a still face.”

There is a lot in this. Affect is the outward expression of emotion, both what a person says verbally about their mood and all the subtle clues we give off about how we are feeling. So right away she is talking about a therapist who isn’t only focussed on what I say about how I feel but on what I express about how I feel, unmediated by words. One of the limits of talk therapy is talking. It seems pretty evident that some stuff in our minds is harder to get at by talking. Most people have the experience of trying to share an experience with someone else and finding words are insufficient. Therapies that rely only on talk miss important dimensions of human experience. Unfortunately, many manualized therapies are very cognitively oriented, so they often leave out what is harder to articulate or even inarticulable. Psychoanalytic therapy is notoriously ‘talky’ as the client or analysand talks to the quiet, almost silent analyst and slowly, slowly moves to articulate what has been unarticulated, the realm of affect.

The still face is a reference to Ed Tronick’s work on attachment. Briefly, Tronick developed the still face experiment as a way of evoking attachment responses in infants by having the mother show no affect. The video can be hard to watch, so be warned.

Fosha is connecting the affectless parent in Tronick’s experiment to the neutral therapist who refuses to engage on an affective level with a client. This prompted me to think about when I do and don’t connect affectively with clients, when I allow myself to be an engaged, caring part of a two person system, and when and how I hold myself back. It can be hard, now that I am doing therapy remotely, showing concern, caring, warmth to a screen or sending positive regard through a telephone line. Watching this reminded me of how healing the presence of a caring, capable other can feel.

I work on a Mac. I know that when I look at my client’s face, I am not actually looking directly at them and I worry about deepening what can already feel like a gulf. But above my screen are the little round green light and round camera lens. We are so hardwired to find faces that if I squint my eyes, the two odd circles can look like a mismatched pair of eyes, my client’s real eyes, not their virtual eyes. That’s where I look sometimes when I particularly hope to pierce through the ether and isolation and send my client closeness, warmth and regard in the hopes of healing.