"He's now, he's then, he's every f*&king when." Roy Kent, asynchronous lover

We have all learned a lot over COVID about 'asynchronous' learning, pre-recorded lessons as part of training or a class as well as mixed, synchronous/asynchronous learning. In the show Ted Lasso, Roy Kent the crusty newly-retired footballer finds his girlfriend Keeley masturbating to a video on her phone. The audience is primed to see an argument, but Roy takes it in fun and doesn't shame her but he is curious. He is surprised to find that what she is wanking to is the press conference where he announced his retirement from football at which he uncharacteristically sobbed uncontrollably. She finds his emotional vulnerability hot. Later, Roy hands Keeley her phone and headphones, cues up the video and goes down on her while she watches him cry.

Roy accepts that Keeley finds something about him hot that he disdains. He knows it will be hard for him to offer her that synchronously so he gives it to her asynchronously. What's more he joins in the fun synchronously. Keeley for her part doesn't view this as a cop-out. She is grateful and views his act as generous. She jumps into the moment with enthusiasm.

To my knowledge this is the first pop-culture depiction of a positive, monogamous mixed synchronous/asynchronous sexual/emotional encounter.

Ted Lasso takes place in a universe similar to our own in which people default to behaving kindly and generously with one another.

What if we could cue up the moment when our partners found us hottest and deliver it to them in a spirit of generosity? What if we could accept that our partners finds things hot about us that we don't particularly find sexy. What if we viewed that as wonderful rather than feeling unseen?

What if we leveraged asynchrony in relationships for connection rather than let awareness of our differences turn us off from one another?